Smurfass: Duct Tape Smurfer
by Nigel Yearning
Summary: Brainy had been pranked by Jokey just before April Fools Day and wants to get revenge on him at that day, so an OC decides to help him out with a lot of rolls of duct tape and a sedative. In honor of April Fools Day.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

It was a fine spring afternoon, tomorrow is Friday which will bring April Fools Day. It's Jokey's favorite holiday, a day where the number of pranks he does per day peaks every year. He prepares for his big prank, as he is concentrating all of his resources at a particular smurf.

The 10 cm tall grass green human smurf hybrid, wearing wood land camouflaged smurf hat and pants, has recently taken number 1 on his Top 10 list of smurfs to prank, with Brainy Smurf taking 2nd place respectively. The green smurf's name is Chernov, and it turns out that April Fools Day is his favorite holiday as well.

This is not a surprise due to Chernov's merciless nature. He likes the holiday because it is the only day in the year that he can "torchre" his fellow smurfs, for reasons that aren't easily explained yet fully understood.

That after noon, Brainy skips along the village with a smile on his face. He just passed Jokey's house where he stepped on a rock, Brainy's weight made the rock explode like a landmine as a result. Chernov heard the explosion and Brainy's screams across town amidst a chemistry experiment, he took off his safety goggles and gloves before running outside to Brainy's aid.

He found Brainy lying face down in a crater about 8 cm wide and 3 cm deep, his glasses lie near the rim of the crater as fellow smurfs gather around as he regains consciousness. "Smurf that Jokey Smurf," cursed Brainy as he crawls out of the crater, "How come I didn't see that coming?"

When no one came to Brainy's aid as he use his hand to locate where his glasses went, Chernov steps forward and lends Brainy a hand. Brainy grabbed it and was hoist back to his feet as Chernov hands him back his glasses. ]

Jokey was laughing hysterically inside his house, everyone can tell as they can hear his muffled laughter from within his home. "You okay Brainy?" asked Chernov.

"Not until I take care of Jokey," grumbled Brainy.

"You'll get him soon enough comrade," said Chernov, "You'll get back at him soon enough."

Chernov and Brainy has been good friends for a year now, Brainy hadn't understood Chernov that well but Chernov understands Brainy completely. More than any other smurf in the village. As fellow smurfs wonder off, Chernov took Brainy back to his house to have him examined for injuries. Incredibly Brainy wasn't hurt, not physically that is.

"Nothing seems to be broken," said Chernov, "Which is surprising due to the force from that explosion."

"It felt like a spring smurfed me up into the air," said Brainy, "So what do you have in mind about Jokey?"

"I have a plan," said Chernov, "It's going to involve a bit of medicine and a lot of ingenuity."

"How?" asked Brainy.

Chernov explains in full detail about his plan. Inside Chernov's basement lies the plumbing station for the Smurf Village's water system, it provides fresh water from the nearby body of water to all the smurfs in the entire village.

Inside a room in the basement, a machine sucks in water from the nearby body of water through a 25 mm diameter pipe. The machine purifies the water to the point where it's drinkable before delivering it to a single massive pipe with about 100 individual 8 mm diameter pipes sticking out of the wall, these pipes are separate networks which all lead to only one mushroom home where the water completes its journey.

"So what are you smurfing here?" asked Brainy.

"I have the water network specially designed so I could put desired stuff into the drinking water," explained Chernov, "Either to individual smurfs or the entire village, I also can cut the water flow to one or to all as well. And I have something special for Jokey."

"What are you going to smurf in Jokey's tap water?" asked Brainy.

"A sedative," continues Chernov, "There's a bit of a delay so if Jokey ingest it, he'll sleep like a rock at night. It doesn't matter how much he takes in as his urinary track will filter out the excess dosage of the sedative, he'll be using the bathroom a lot for the next few hours."

"But why a sedative?" asked Briany.

"So he wouldn't wake up when we," Chernov cuts himself off as he pulls out a roll of duct tape before continuing, "Wrap his house and him in duct tape in the dead of night."

Brainy loved the plan and shook Chernov's hand," Genius," Brainy complimented, "Let's get smurfing then, shall we?"

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

Chernov contacted his human father via satellite phone for loads of duct tape. In a carefully selected drop-off point just 30 metres away from the Smurf Village, Chernov watched as a triangular black shaped object zips through the sky and parachuted a crate about 12 cm big. The crate soon deployed its parachute when it reached a certain altitude before gently landing on the ground.

Chernov used all of his strength to carry the crate back to his house, where he overhears a smurf conversation about seeing a "UFO."

"It was a black triangle object that just smurfed through the sky like a smurfing rocket smurfer," said a smurf," You seen it too?"

"Smurf, smurf," said another smurf, "I think it's one of those B-2 stealth smurfer, I thought it was going to attack us."

Indeed the smurf had it right, that was a B-2 spirit bomber that flew by just a few seconds ago.

Once Chernov muscled the crate back home, he opened it up with a crowbar and discovered rolls of duct tape that has 8 mm of thickness, which means that's a lot of duct tape on a single roll.

With tape in hand, Chernov grabbed a bottle of sedative from a cabinet and heads down a trapdoor to his basement. Heads into the plumbing room in the basement and shuts off Jokey's water line with a turn of a lever. The smurf happened to be taking a shower as his water was cut, he stood there with his legs and scalp covered in suds as he stares at the shower head. "What the smurf?" asked Jokey to himself.

Soon Chernov opens a cap from Jokey's waterline and revealed a small chamber with wire mesh that prevents water from carrying objects down the pipe line., Chernov then open the bottle of sedative and dumped 20 white circular tablets into the small chamber. He then seals up the bottle before putting the cap back onto the chamber. Then he turns a lever, restoring the flow of water through the pipeline.

Jokey was still puzzled in his shower from the loss of water. That's when water pressure is restored and the shower head sprays water into Jokey's face, "There we go," he said to himself,, "I thought I had a crisis there." He opened his mouth to let the water pour into it, unknowingly digesting the dissolved sedative solution along with it.

Throughout the day, Jokey felt sleepy and was continuously using the bathroom, a side-effect from the sedative. Papa Smurf soon noticed what's going on with the prankster yet he couldn't figure out what's going on with him. So Papa Smurf tries giving Jokey a potion to help him, the village leader's potion is no match for Chernov's chemicals so it did nothing to help Jokey. However his frequent urination problem soon stopped as his body reduced the amount of the sedative from within his system, but Jokey's sleepiness continued.

No one suspected Chernov from causing Jokey's tiredness, but Brainy knew what was really going on and so did nothing. No one had suspected Brainy from casuing Jokey's symptoms either, therefore, he and Chernov are in the home free for the time being.

By the time night approached, all the smurfs went to bed and the village became quiet and peaceful. Noise from nocturnal creatures like insects echoing in the forest will help muffle any noise from what Chernov and Brainy will make. Chernov makes his way through the village and knocked on Brainy's door, the smurf opened it wearing black clothing and face paint.

"You look suspicious you know that?" noted Chernov.

"How come your not wearing black?" asked Brainy.

"I'm a nocturnal creature, I always wonder the smurf village at night." said Chernov, "That's why you never see me out in the sun on most days."

"No wonder the smurfs always talk about you wondering about at night," said Brainy.

"Well lets hurry," said Chernov, "Before the sun comes up, I want to get this done in a little more than an hour."

Chernov has already sat out the rolls of duct tape in place, so the two sneaked to Jokey's door and Chernov managed to lockpick it. He easily unlocks the door and opened it slowly, revealing Jokey sleeping soundly on his bed. Chernov and Brainy picked up the sleeping Jokey and moved him outside where they sat him on the ground, first they covered Jokey's house in wax paper for easy removal in the morning before proceeding in wrapping his mushroom home in duct tape.

It took about an hour, just what Chernov wanted. Once the house is wrapped in duct tape, they then duct taped Jokey to it. They taped Jokey up to his chest with the duct tape going around his house. After going through several rolls of duct tape, they all left the empty rolls at the foot of the front door, "Let's get some sleep Brainy," whispered Chernov as he picks up the box of leftover duct tape, "So we can see the look on everybody's faces in the morning."

"Night Chernov," said Brainy.

"Yeah, goodnight Brainy." said Chernov.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters that were created by someone else**

**Claimer: Go to my profile to view my characters**

The sound of a reassuring scream alerted Chernov and Brainy as they jumped out of bed and rushed outside to see what's up. There, smurfs gathered around and laughed as they saw Jokey's house wrapped entirely in duct tape, with the owner himself also duct taped to it. "I don't know," said Hefty, "Whoever duct taped Jokey's house looked like he a lot of time on their hands."

"I wonder why they hadn't duct taped all of his exploding presents to the wall," wondered Handy.

Chernov and Brainy hadn't bothered with Jokey's "surprise" presents. It would take all night just to wrap them all in duct tape Chernov did not want to spend an entire night from doing the pointless job, so they left the presents alone.

When Papa Smurf came along, he's stunned to see the entire mushroom home covered in duct tape. Grandpa Smurf on the other hand was laughing his tail off as he approached, "Hilarious!" he laughed, "Pure genius!"

The smurfs laughed really hard at Jokey's misery as he tries to break free from the duct tape, Chernov and Brainy wrapped him up good in duct tape as they taped each limb individually onto the wall before wrapping a layer of duct tape over him. So when the smurfs proceed in removing the duct tape off of Jokey, it was extremely difficult. Not even Hefty can't pull him free.

So Chernov approached as the smurfs backed away, then he pulls out his combat knife and sliced a circle around Jokey. He then slipped off the wall and fell onto the ground, flat on his face. Of course he's still wrapped in duct tape, the smurfs were surprised to find that there's wax paper underneath. This made things easier when the smurfs were removing the tape off of the house.

Jokey wasn't so fortunate in having wax paper underneath him, as the duct tape was stuck onto his skin like glue. Removing it was painful, so painful in fact that Jokey's screaming was heard as far away as Siberia. Once all the duct tape was removed, Jokey's skin appear pinkish instead of sky blue. "You're okay Jokey?" asked Chernov, doing an excellent job in hiding his laughter.

"I'm fine Chernov," said Jokey as he looks back at his house," It was wrapped in duct tape?"

"Yup," said Handy, "Thankfully they used wax paper before wrapping it in duck tape."

"I wonder who did it?" asked Jokey, "How come I didn't wake up when it all happened?"

"Looks like the Duct Tape Smurfer was very careful in not waking you," said Clumsy.

"Duct Tape Smurfer," thought Brainy, "Very clever Clumsy."

As the smurfs walked away and Papa Smurf counsels with Grandpa Smurf about the duct tape, Brainy and Chernov walked out of the area. "Should we tell them that we did it?" asked Brainy.

"No," said Chernov, "They might tolerate me but I'm not sure they would tolerate you."

"Good point," said Brainy, "My tail can't take another smurfy kick from Hefty anymore."

As Chernov and Brainy walked off, Jokey opens the door to his house. He gasped at what he saw, the inside of his room was entirely wrapped in duct tape. And no, it wasn't wrapped wax paper before hand. Almost everything in duct tape, even the walls, floor, and ceiling are wrapped in duct tape.

"Smurf!" cried Jokey as he jump up and down, "Smurf! Smurf! Smurf! This smurfs like smurfs! SMURF!"

"Hey!" snapped Hefty, "No smurfing!"

"Sorry," said Jokey.

And the kicker? Chernov and Brainy didn't do it, it was the smurflings. They saw what Chernov and Brainy did so they took delivery in taking all that extra duct tape and wrap everything in the inside with it, making this prank a complete overkill. And to top it off, Jokey has to remove all that duct tape by himself. The amount of duct used to wrap the entire inside of his home along with everything in it can stretch all the way from the Smurf Village and Gargamel's house and back, about 15 times.

"Good luck Jokey," snickered Snappy as he and the smurflings watched Jokey clearing away the duct tape, "And Happy April Fool's Day."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
